I cried today because I didn’t feel pretty.
I tried to take a picture with Ben to post on Instagram and it ended with me crying in our room with a mental list of things I wish were different about me.
[If you don’t feel like reading, scroll to the bottom & hit play on my Youtube version of this]
I overall don’t feel this way about myself, but it does come in waves randomly. It’s the all too familiar dance we all do with the adversary that we’re so used to doing we don’t even step on his toes anymore. The dance that we aren’t enough—
We aren’t pretty enough. We aren’t skinny enough. We don’t make enough. We don’t have enough. We aren’t good enough.
Ben came in from behind me, rubbed my back while he told me how beautiful I am. And then I remembered something; I remembered all the other times this exact scenario has already happened between us. When I think of the number of times this has happened it really put things into perspective for me.
And then I remembered that it’s the adversary that makes us feel inadequate. I remembered that he really sucks and I don’t have to justify him being in my head. I don’t have to surrender and allow him to dictate my happiness or how I see and act. I remembered that I don’t have to wait for him to leave on his own and just accept that today is “just a bad day,” and hope for a better one tomorrow. I remembered that when Satan gets me down it’s only because I allow him to.
I remembered that prayer will get rid of any unnecessary crap I don’t have to deal with. I remembered that I have the literal power to cast him out and give him the ultimate ‘bye, Felicia.’ I remembered that light always overcomes dark if we make the effort to turn on the switch. I remembered that comfort and truth is always there because Christ is always there. And how God sees me is the only thing that matters and He sees me as someone capable of becoming like Him. And that is the ultimate reality and greatest pick-me-up.
Next time the adversary has another pathetic attempt to bring us down, remember to not justify his presence. Force yourself to say a prayer no matter how frustrated or down we may be because of that literal power he has to obey.
Among the things we don’t have or can’t do, one thing you do have that you can’t trade for anything is a knowledge that Heavenly Father is yours and loves, listens, and helps us regardless of our ‘flaws’ or shortcomings. That is what matters most. It’s powerful. And we can always feel that when we ask Him to see ourselves how He sees us. When we’re standing in the mirror or looking at our camera roll on our phone look a little deeper next time.
Remember that we have a God and He is ours! We have the most powerful being to ever exist and whose whole purpose is to help us, love us, and give us the greatest ever created. We are not meant to just get by; we’re meant to be happy and to triumph gloriously! Heavenly father did not shortchange or screw up on us. Our perfect creator created us perfectly.
You are good enough and God does care.
Love everyone. Including yourself.
Because when He thinks of you, He smiles. Because you are OH SO beautiful in the eyes of God.
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, read this post here.
Originally posted on my old blog HERE.