When We Don’t Feel the Spirit


I was 21 when I was confirmed a member of the Church, it blew getting baptized out of the water! When I got baptized, I was happy, but mostly wet. And cold. BUT when I got the gift of the Holy Ghost, that was a PHYSICAL thing for me. I physically felt myself get that gift. 
The contrast really was huge. After going 21 years without it, the difference really was real. 

That contrast is what I hold on to in my doubting times and wondering times and the times God is quiet— but even with that stark contrast, I know I still fall victim to the snares of doubt and fallen victim to confusion. I find it difficult to picture myself like those we are confirmed at 8 who may not have that contrast.

Regardless, for the times all of us wonder where the spirit is and where it’s impact in our life and is it really is always with us if we don’t feel we recognize or feel it often?

BUT WHAT IF— the spirit IS guiding and speaking and directing us SO SEAMLESSLY 
because of the promise of it always being with us, that we don’t even know what it’s like to not have it? 

What if— we’re so used to working with it for so long, we don’t give it full credit? 
What if— we unconsciously overlook it and take it for granted because it’s INGRAINED IN US SO WELL, 
just like He promised.

Sometimes, and more commonly, we attribute the *more noticeable* feelings, to being our gut feelings, and dismiss or not recognize the rest. Most times it’s so subtle we don’t recognize it at all or we attribute it to ‘us just being us’ and acting without thought or out of personality or character. 

How beautiful that is. To have it part of us like that.

I wonder how life could blossom if we stripped down some layers of second guessing and standing still, and took confidence in the resources and promises He has given us? 
I wonder how different our life could be if we took greater confidence in being a CONFIRMED member and moved forward knowing God’s promises do not fail us. 

What a THRILL it is to keep moving forward through it all. Seeing it all unfold.
Life blossoming in new ways, His ways.
How beautiful that is. Simply to be part of it all.

xox AL

JUST RELEASED: Wildly Optimistic 
Fireside CD: Choosing God in Hard Times
More Than the Tattooed Mormon: HERE
Cheers to Eternity: HERE.
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Instagram: @alcarraway | Twitter: @alcarraway | Facebook 

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