When it Doesn’t Work Out

I was engaged to a boy that I didn’t end up marrying. Date set & all.
But then he told me that he could find someone better. Soooo, that was  cool. 

IT SHATTERED ME, but not because I wasn’t with this guy, (‘cuz, phew that was a close one, right though?!) BUT because I had never been more *spiritually confused in my entire life. 
I started second guessing everything.

I thought I was following the Spirit, so how could it not work out?! It stunk because I all of a sudden doubted my entire relationship with the Holy Ghost—have I been doing it wrong the whole time?!
I was mad, thinking that my faith & my God & my own self, were failing me.

It took me a long while to realize something important:
The engagement was supposed to happen – the marriage was not.

It was supposed to “not work out” the whole time. 
It “not working out” was actually it working out perfectly how God had in mind the whole time!  That all *needed* to happen, because it led me to a wrestle—
which led me to learning vital lessons I couldn’t imagine living life without—lessons I would be lost without knowing. Which led me down other paths I would t have done before—
Which kept me on His path— and it all led me to knowing God. 
And when He becomes a reality to you, could you trade that knowledge?
As hard as things were and continue to be, I know God.
And I love Him with a real love. 

I put that in “quotes” because obviously it did all work out *exactly & perfectly & intricately* how it needed to. God Himself told me in a priesthood blessing mine & Ben’s souls are knitted together, so YEAH, it worked out pretty great, if you ask me. All of it part of God’s plan to being with.
(Kind of how I wanted to serve a mission BUT LOOK WHAT I’VE DONE because I didn’t go on one. & like all those other times for everything else in my life…)”

SO TO YOU: when things seems to be falling a part & going differently, HOLD ON.
What seems like ignored desires & unanswered prayers can be GOD INTERVENING—
bringing you to better things.
Intricately part of it all to being with.


BOOKS:  Wildly Optimistic Gaining New Perspective to Life’s Challenges
More Than the Tattooed Mormon: HERE
Cheers to Eternity: HERE.
Scripture Study JournalRooted
Fireside CD: Choosing God in Hard Times
More products: journals, home decor, jewelry: HERE.
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  1. Thank you. When I feel like quitting, you’re the eternal optimist. Well, even us OLD codgers face this feeling of having “missed the boat.” Maybe especially us old codgers. (How can my wife and I be 65? We just were newlyweds a few weeks ago in 1973!!) Humanity and civilization was supposed to be so much better, so much more civilized in the 21st century, and I still want my George Jetson skycar! Maybe I should remember that Heavenly Father is, like me, a Father – one with the wisdom to say “No” to a good idea when He knows there’s something even better for me and mine. He’s been right so far, so maybe I really can be patient and let the other children throw their tantrums, cry when they (and I) don’t get our own way, and know for SURE that everything I didn’t get — Well, so far I’ve always gotten something better.

    Now if I could only ensure my children will get the best deal. We dads want to do it all for our kids.

    May you and Ben continue to inspire this old and tired grandpa.

    *jeep! & God Bless!

  2. I recently discovered your blog, even though I have seen you other places on social media, church news, and your books. Thank you for sharing your experience, testimony and faith from a sister who knows we all struggle with our faith no matter our age (young adult, mother or grandmother!)

  3. I hear you. A year ago, I went through a painful divorce. After we separated, you can bet I was on my knees, asking the Lord why it all happened. Over time, I received an answer that I consider very sacred, so won’t share it here. Suffice it to say, my life has changed, my relationship with HF and the spirit is waaaaay better, and I’m grateful for that.

  4. I just got broken up with and it was with someone I thought was the one. It’s been a hard couple of days, and Satan is really doing a number on me. But I know that if this doesn’t work out, God really has something amazing planned, and someone amazing in store for me. I think this relationship was my land Bountiful. It’s a beautiful land. It’s a land of milk and honey. But it wasn’t my promised land. I just need to have faith to cross the Ocean before me. And God sent plagues, parted the Red sea, gave mana in the wilderness, and tumbled the walls of Jerico. Why? Because he made a promise to the Children of Israel. He has made a promise to me that I will have someone who is my equil. And He keeps his promises, even if it takes miracles.

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