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2016:
We’re expecting our second child any day now! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t counting down the days looking forward to this pregnancy being over. I can’t count all the different parts of my body that ache so badly, I’ve lost count how many nights it’s been that I have barely slept at all and had to force myself to function at work the next day—exhausted, pregnant waddle made into an art, and trying to hide my weird breathing to cope with painful false labor contractions at my desk in front of everyone, haha.
All while being overwhelmingly grateful to have this experience at all, and mostly definitely a healthy one at that (unlike my first). I’m in a weird limbo with my desires and prayers. I ache (literally, haha) and plead for this to be over, anxious to meet him, but I’m sad thinking of times ahead when I’ll forget what it feels like to feel movement inside of me and and I’ll pray for just a few more days before it’s over. How beautiful it is knowing I have 2 hearts beating inside of me this exact second.
Being a mother was most definitely not something I ever wanted to be, (you can read about that here), and when our first child was born I saw my husband’s reaction before I saw Gracie. He collapsed on my chest and just wept so hard. It was in that exact second I finally learned the importance of families.
When I look in her eyes, I feel the spirit.
And as I think of that moment and as I think of the arrival of our son and meeting him, I think back to a really sacred priesthood blessing I received. I’ve been debating on sharing this for 2 months now and maybe I’ll regret sharing it. But my understanding on families, on the pre earth life, and on God has expounded so much from it, it has changed me. It’s changed how I think and how I act.
I got a priesthood blessing about 2 months ago that just so happen to mention our soon to be born son. I was told that he and Gracie picked me to be their mom.
I was told that he’s watched over me throughout my life.
I was told that he misses Ben and I, and very anxious to be reunited with us, especially Gracie. Him and Gracie were inseparable before she was born. I was told Gracie will recognize him when she sees him.
I was told that Heavenly Father knows I’ve been thinking about how many kids I should have. I was told it’s up to me and whatever I decide. But that Gracie and baby boy are necessary. Goosebumps.
Often when we think of families we think of the here and the hereafter. It’s not often we stop and think that we were all united together already before here. And this has nothing to do with giving birth or not, but overall. Whether in reference to your parents and siblings, in reference to those that you adopt or foster, members of the church or not, alive or not yet or no longer, etc. It doesn’t necessarily matter how our families are brought together here on earth, but that we existed and interacted and loved beforehand. And now, watching over and helping. Interacting, learning, growing and loving. Each unique. Each necessary by God. For experiences and lessons intertwined between us that are too intricate to fully understand, to reconnect us from before, to help us grow here, and prepare for the hereafter.
Though perhaps reading this you can recall too many times to count we have all felt that deep and eternal connection to those in our family and their influence on us, some during little everyday things, and some through sacred and personal experiences or blessings, whether on this side of the veil, or the other.
So what’s my point?
My point is that we are not alone.
Not only is God absolutely always, at all times mindful of us, but that He has blessed us with those on both sides of the veil as well, watching over and cheering for us. Unseen protection and guidance from those anxious to be born, and from those already passed.
My point is we need to take care of each other. We are together for a reason. How we spend our time with those in our family and extended family, the ways we act and react with them, and the opportunities we take to teach and extend love is crucial. It matters and can ripple into the eternities.
My point is this is not the start of me and my soon to be son.
This life is not the start of you.
“Our individual purpose began long before we came to this earth.” —Sister Wixom This is not the beginning and this is not the end. We are all without beginnings. As individuals. And as families. We have qualities and traits of divinity, created by and passed from the most powerful being to ever exist.
My point is we are sometimes in need of a reality check.
Do more than just exist.
Let’s refocus, often, on who we truly are and what we need to be doing. Refocus on the reality of being a living soul that can never die. We have ‘forever’ built into our genes.
We need to take care of ourselves because we are meant for so much more than just this. What we do matters. Who we are and what we’re a part of has real meaning. Deep roots that extend far beyond this sphere. Roots that should drive our priorities and effect what we do daily with our life.
“God sent you here to prepare for a future greater than anything you can imagine.” And “once you understand the true nature of God and His commandments, you will also better understand yourselves and the divine purpose of your existence.” —Uchtdorf
“The older I get, the more I realize that family is the center of life and is the key to eternal happiness.” —Elder Perry
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