Carest Thou Not That I’m Struggling?!’

It is well known the raging storm that caused the apostles to yell, “Carest thou not that we perish?!”

But perhaps maybe we can more see ourselves in our personal storms & our heavy thoughts & passing doubts & our pleadings of: ‘Carest thou not that I’m struggling?!’

Carest thou not that this is SO hard?! That this was unwanted? That I don’t deserve this? Thats this has been going on for TOO long?

Carest thou not…that I don’t think I can go on…?! Carest thou not…about ME?

Like the apostles waking up Christ who was asleep during what seemed to be a life threatening storm, we too, sometimes find ourselves wondering if He is sleeping through the times were we feel we so desperately need Him the most.

We wonder where relief is, we plead for Him to calm our storm because it’s as though we may not make it. Or at the very least, for to Him to wake up – to be conscious – to be mindful – to be present for our raging storms we’re in the midst of.

It’s sobering to think of Christ also making that same plead to those same disciples, when he was bleeding from every pore: can you not stay with me just “1 hour?” And although I have been in too many raging storms, wondering too many times if I will be able to make it, losing my voice too many times because of how loud my pleadings have been, I find myself heartbroken at the thought of my life being any different. Because where I am, who I have, and what I’v gained along the way- humbly realizing that it was EVERY time I was yelling at Him wondering Where He was & if He even CARES about me– that has brought me to everything I have now. Greater than I even knew existed.

With the reality of our trials comes the reality of Christ & the reality of His power, His love, & the reality of His purpose to bring us to the greater things.

And when we remember all that we have & all that we have been given– when we remember Who He really is– then we really can continue through raging waters, knowing He is quite literally with us.

And we can continue down unchartedand& unwanted paths, knowing He is awake, aware and actively bringing us to the best things.

And we can continue without panic, knowing we are in His hands. And when we plead & wonder, He will lovingly correct us, of “little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?”

‘Cuz He’s never left. He really does care, we really will make it, and it will be INDESCRIBABLE.

xoxAL

Related: Modern-day Murmuring

Our MOST Bitter Pain & Anguish of Soul

When Trials Wont End – Ether 6 Breakdown

When Promised Blessings Don’t Come

The Best Advice to Respond To Mean Members

When I was Single & Unwanted

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE w/o Judgement

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