I yelled at Ben pretty bad last night. My blunt trait is strong to a fault, and sometimes, I have a tendency to overdrive my point too deep. Like, if he did something that upset me, I’m gunna let him know, but not just know, really know, hahah. So dumb. Not always!!! But sometimes. (can I blame it on being a virgo….lolololol jkjk).
And yet regardless of how I acted, (or overreacted), Ben apologized. HE apologized, even though I was the one yelling.
Which immediately made me think, “ughhhh. I’m the worst sometimes.” He’s always been that way, though. He always forgives me before I apologize. Honestly, he forgives me while I’m still in it. He’s always so quick to remind me how important teamwork & unity is, even when it’s clouded by upset feelings or misunderstandings.
And just like that, we were sitting next to each other as if nothing happened. As always.
Pursuing unity and wholeness in marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s what we’ve have learned – even if he’s better at it then I am: To love is to forgive. It’s always better to be kind than to be right. Our feelings are not more important or valid than theirs. Act & react & listen knowing we are on equal ground. Learning the art of ‘let it go as quickly as possible’ is one of the best things to learn. Destructive damage comes from fault finding, blame, & guilt, & never is it worth it, justified, or end well. It’s great to be good for each other, but it’s more important to be good to each other. It’s the adversary that gets you to feel like opponents. Do not heed. Love is smiling at the quirks & looking for the good in each other. Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around!
Trials are easier as a team. Strength is there when you are weak. Humor is perfectly there for the good and the bad. A change of course is more of an adventure when you’re not alone. Learning new things from them, and with them, is magic. And the growth you experience over the years are gems in life.
‘Cuz it’s life that should be hard, not marriage. It’s marriage that should make the hard things in life easier because you have each other & because you have God.
xox AL
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